Trở
lại Trang Nh�:C�nh Thư Đầu Xu�n
VIẾT TỪ MỘT TU VIỆN
LTS. Phi V�n, một khu�n mặt trẻ th�n quen của c�c phong tr�o Linh Thao, Cursillo trong Cộng Đồng C�ng Gi�o Việt Nam Gi�o Phận Orange. Trong suốt thập ni�n cuối thế kỷ vừa qua, C� c� mặt thường xuy�n trong những sinh hoạt chung của c�c Phong Tr�o n�y. Sau một thời gian d�i lắng nghe, t�m hiểu, C� quyết định chọn cuộc đời tận hiến. Một năm trước, C� trở th�nh một chuẩn Nữ Tu.
Nh�n dịp Gi�ng Sinh 2003 đồng thời cũng l� thời gian sửa soạn đ�n mừng Xu�n Gi�p Th�n, 2004, từ Nh� D�ng, Phi V�n đ� viết một l� thư d�i để chia sẻ những cảm nghiệm mới trong đời sống tu tr� với những bạn b� th�n quen của C�. Nh�n số ph�t h�nh đặc biệt dịp Xu�n Gi�p Th�n, nguyệt san Diễn Đ�n Gi�o D�n rất vui mừng được gửi tới độc giả t�m sự của Phi V�n sau đ�y.
Boston, December of 2003
Greetings Everyone,
Christmas is here; the New Year is coming. I have not written to you as much as I would have liked this past year. But you all are in my thoughts and prayers. I know you all are wondering what I am up to. So, sit down, relax and enjoy�(
After a wonderful New Year together with my (blood and spiritual) families and friends in California, I came back to Boston for 8 days of retreat and became a novice in the Daughters of St. Paul on January 25, 2003 (Feast of St. Paul�s Conversion). It was a beautiful day for me. After a very simple ceremony, I was accepted into the novitiate community with embracing arms of all my Sisters and, of course, a big dinner, too. I felt so blessed and loved by God and my Sisters. I don�t know how to explain it�you just had to be there to experience it (. Yes, I cried to leave behind the old (because it was part of me), but God gives me His grace to embrace the new (because it is His love for me).
As novice, I am matching my desires up with the Congregation I hope to join, the Daughters of St. Paul. Novitiate is a time of studying, praying, and reaching deep into my heart. As you know, becoming a Sister�something I am still growing in, discovering and praying about�will enable me to be my �best,� as God desires of me. My best is still struggling to become the whole person that God wants me to be. Hopefully one day I will be able to say like St. Paul, �It is no longer I, but Christ who lives in me.� I really don�t know about my future� I do not know what I will do in the next few years... I do not know about so many things... I have no answers to many questions. However, I do know that God is with me. God neither answers my why nor tells me what lies ahead, but He does ask me to trust Him. By trusting Him, I let myself be guided by Him, simply to walk with him and move forward with trust and confidence in His love and mercy. Like Blessed Alberione, our Founder, I pray with confidence and conviction that the Lord will continue to enlighten me in this journey, believing that wherever God leads me, his grace will be there as He faithfully gives it to me here and now. I continue to grasp on to these words of Jesus, spoken to Blessed Alberione: �Do not be afraid. I am with you. From here I will cast light. Be sorry for sin.�
I am moved by the apostolate of the media, the image of God�s creative love indwells in my heart. My soul is filled with tremendous gratitude to God for calling me to express His love through my daily apostolate in the design department. I have met so many wonderful people and God has used me as His paintbrush to express His love and bring the Gospel to humanity through the visual identity of our publications by using colors, textures, images, and touch to impact the senses and consciousness of our audience. Like a canvas, there have been different radiances in my first year as a novice�dull and abounding in colors�yet, in all of this I believe the hand of God has turned all into a harmonious painting which manifests His love to all humanity. I have treasured this past novitiate year of communion with all of you, as well as the many wonderful experiences in per-forming my apostolate: whether evangel-izing at exhibits, cleaning/decorat-ing chapel, washing dishes after meals, putting books away� However, my favorite apostolic moments were those directly serving people in our book centers and exhibits.
Our Founder, Fr. Alberione, was announced a Blessed in the Church on April 27, 2003, by Pope John Paul II. Blessed Alberione founded five religious congregations and five institutes. Together we are called the Pauline Family. A thanksgiving mass at St. Patrick Cathedral in New York was one of my highlights this year. I was so touched to see hundreds and hundreds of people attending his mass and by Cardinal Egan�s homily. I don�t remember much, but I do remember he said, �Blessed Alberione was an ambassador of God and we are called to be ambassadors of God too.� It was a very powerful statement for me. Do you know that Blessed Alberione was asked to leave the seminary when he was a young man? Thanks to God he didn�t give up his desire to become a priest. Not just a priest�God called him to be holy and to become the Founder Pauline Family. And do you know that New York was the first city that my early Sisters came to in 1932, and they were told by the Bishop to go back to Italy? Guess what? God�s way is really different from people�s ways! He is really in charge. The early Sisters didn�t go back, but we multiply since then. What a blessing from God! So, I think you get the picture why I was moved�(
I have a little artistic talent within myself and I am good with my hands and sight. Since I went to the design department, I have learned so much about colors, textures, images, and graphic design from Sr. Helen Rita. I have my hands in almost everything that we do in the design department. It takes a lot of work for a book to be born. I tell you there are at least 15 different steps that I have to take in order to do a layout of a book. When I get a story from the editorial department, I have to do a �dummy� layout, find and communicate with artists for illustrations, set out a deadline for sketches, send illustrations to prepress to be scanned, check on colors and images, choose font types that suite the audience�, etc. Yes, headaches and disappointments, but with joy because I am playing with colors and images and the Holy Spirit (. Some titles I have co-designed with my sisters would include: Expecting A Miracle, My Christmas Picture Book, My Friend Magazine (monthly), Advent and Christmas Book, Christmas Card, Pocket Calender, St. Jude.� Discovering the intense, loving relationship with God through designing our publications fulfills me and makes me want to give my whole life to Him: this is a wonderful gift of my daily apostolate. God both initiates a bond of love and uses me to bring His love to thousands and millions through our publications without me even moving from my convent. Isn�t that the beauty of it all? I just open myself to the possibilities God has for me and in return, He gives me the graces to become a collaborator in His own redeeming work.
These are just highlights of a year of many hugs, many sweet long/short talks, and many times of saying �I love you,� �I miss you,� �I pray for you,� as if there might never be an opportunity to say it again. My mother and my siblings are doing very well. They still are having short/long trips here and there. Oh, by the way, two among my 20 spiritual brothers and sisters in California (all like �godchildren� of the same priest, Fr. Michael), have been ordained priests this past summer. Then, back to Boston, First Profession of Srs. Mary Regina Grace, Fay Josephine and Christina Miriam was celebrated in the tropically-flavored liturgy which was so colorful, authentic, and fun. I could not help but I was thinking about mine�( My summer was also marked by my participation in an Asian Youth Retreat outside of Philly, a National Film Retreat at St. Thecla�s (at our retreat's house) with Sr Rose. We celebrated the 50th Anniversary of our motherhouse here in Boston, a time for us to reflect and thank God for our first Sisters in the United States and for 50 years of God�s grace!
Of course, I grieved, too. I grieved for the lives of thousands and thousands our soldiers in the Middle East War I had never met and for the loss of world sense of security. I grieved for the life of Sr. Attilia who I came to know and love dearly. She was one of our senior Sisters who God called to Himself this year in July. I grieved for the failing health of my beloved ones. My heart ached at having to say farewell to the postulant community where I spent my first one and half years in the convent. I tried to pray. I tried to comfort and support where I saw strength and courage. I grasped on to Jesus, our Lord and Savior.
Above all, I thank you for all of your continuing love, support, and prayers. You all have been an encouragement and inspiration to me. I hold you all close in thoughts and prayers. May Baby Jesus bring to each of you lots of happiness and love this Christmas Season. In the New Year 2004, may God bless you and keep you safe in His tender, loving care. Together let us paint God�s love forever! � �
In His Love,
PhiVan
